Stoner Sex: Judgemental Buzzkills, Election Friction, New Partners & Work Stress

Dear Hyapatia,
I sell weed and I have many clients who I’ve dealt with for several years. These are good people I know I can trust. One of them has started bringing over a friend. This new guy is really opinionated and  is not shy about telling people what he thinks. My girlfriend’s best friend is a dancer at a local club. Last night she was here when this new guy came over. We were talking and it came out what she does for a living. This new guy got all weird and started acting like she was a prostitute or something. What is it with people who have to judge others? Can’t we just all get along? There are plenty of people out there who judge us for smoking weed. I don’t want to piss off a customer, but it seems really low for him to attack her for trying to make a living when there are people out there who would rather not work.  – Bryan

Dear Bryan,
Unfortunately, there will always be people with such low self-esteem that they make themselves the center of attention or, in this case, make themselves feel better by putting others down. It’s a dark reflection of his energy. This guy is bad news and I would tell your friend he’s not welcome. Sex and pot have a lot in common. Both are natural, yet both have been demonized and given a bad reputation. For this reason, I think stoners and sexually aware individuals have a lot in common. People who slander sexually aware individuals are buzzkills at the very least, and perpetrators of stereotypes that cause sexual aggression, including, rape at the very worst.

Dear Hyapatia,
My man and I have strong opinions and worked for the Bernie Sanders campaign. Now that he’s supporting Hillary, I’m supporting her, too. But my boyfriend is behind Trump. It is causing a “yuge” problem in our relationship. I can’t understand why he would back such a person and he feels the same way about me. Since neither candidate is pro-legalization, we have no clear choice and it’s about to break us up. We haven’t had sex in over two weeks. How can two people who are very politically active and concerned get along in the same house when we’re on opposite sides of the fence? – Melinda and Jeff

Dear Melinda and Jeff,
It’s been said many times that friends should not discuss religion or politics and that goes double for lovers! It’s possible for two people who love each other to have very different opinions and this election season is really bringing that to the forefront. It may not be easy, but one can follow politics and refrain from expressing an opinion to their partner. You can agree on the fact that neither candidate is ideal and that it would be best not to talk politics for a while. Many of us are deeply disappointed in how things have turned out. If you must talk about the election, consider focusing on the other races. Smoke some good weed, commiserate in our loss of Bernie and have some good sex. You are overdue and it sounds like you need to release some tension.

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m a very sexually active woman. My boyfriend and I used to swing now and then and I’ve had sex with both men and women. About two weeks ago we broke up. It was mutual and I’m ready to move on. I really enjoyed the sex I had with women, but  now I’m confused. Should I look for a male or female partner? All my relationships in the past have been with men, so I’m thinking about looking for a woman this time. What do you think? – Sara

Dear Sara,
I think you should enjoy life, seek out good companionship and friendship and just see what happens. We Native Americans call people in the LGBT community “two-spirited.” Ideally, relationships just happen when we meet someone who we’re attracted to. Life is busy and complicated now, so people find themselves actively pursuing a love life with dating apps and websites. If that’s your style, fine. But don’t limit yourself to just one sex or the other, if you’re open to a relationship with either. Embrace your two-spiritedness by remaining flexible. You may consider following your dreams and exploring things you never have; in doing so, you may find someone with a similar interest. Go to a Cannabis Cup, take a class in horticulture or pursue some other interest. This is a great way to make sure you remain true to yourself. Don’t change for others. Find someone who’s following the same path.

 Dear Hyapatia,
I have three kids under the age of seven. Only one is in school and I stay home with the other two. My husband comes home from work and I try to greet him with hugs and open arms. He runs directly to his stash and has to get high before we can have a conversation. Why is his weed more important to him than I am? – Paula

Dear Paula,

I don’t think his weed is more important to him than you are. I know that staying at home with two young ones and taking care of the rest of the family can be really stressful. I’ve done it myself. Remember, you must have days when you’re rushing to roll one up. But working all day away from home causes stress, too. Whatever’s going on in his work life, let’s just assume it warrants an immediate hit upon arriving home. Does he give you love and attention once he’s calmed his frazzled nerves? Is he providing for you and the children? Does he help with parenting as he should?

Life hands us ups and downs. It can be hard for the working partner to share all they go through when they’re away from home. But it’s also important that they respect the work the stay-at-home partner does and all it involves. Many men find it difficult to share their emotions at the drop of a hat. They don’t want to appear weak or complaining. But we can relieve stress by putting our thoughts into words. Let him know that you’re supportive. (It sounds as if you already are!) Maybe he’ll begin to open up.

Last week’s Stoner Sex: Working Out, Live Models, the Oldest Profession & Weekend Sex

from
http://hightimes.com/culture/stoner-sex-judgemental-buzzkills-election-friction-new-partners-work-stress/