Stoner Sex: Rough Schedules, Motormouths, Overcoming Shyness & Oral Problems

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m a businesswoman with a high-intensity job. Many workdays last 12 hours. While I love my man and enjoy sex with him very much, I simply don’t have the energy during the week. I’ve tried to explain this numerous times. When I get home at eight or nine at night and have to be up again at five, there just isn’t enough time for eating and sleeping, much less sex. Our weekends are spent trying to catch up with lost time. My man wants to spend the weekend in bed having sex. I want to spend it in bed sleeping. Getting high just puts me to sleep at this point. How can I maintain my relationship and my sanity? – Janeke

Dear Janeke,
This is always a difficult situation, because it requires understanding, patience and, most important, respect. Partners of people with demanding jobs like yours need to understand that it’s a privilege to have such a valuable job – or to be involved with someone who has one. I assume you‘re being rewarded appropriately for your efforts. We have to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves in life. Many people wish they could find a job that would give them enough hours to pay the bills. There will be a day in the future when you won’t be so pressed for time. It’s not healthy to feel as if sex is an item to be crossed off the list in order to appease your partner. When one is properly rested, sex becomes a natural desire. It just happens! When you’re off work for a few days and have had time to decompress, you’ll be able to show your partner how much you care for him. In the meantime, he’ll have to understand that, even though sex is wonderful and important, so are proper rest and recovery from a stressful job. They have to take precedence. You’ve probably already thought of this, but maybe there’s something he could do to help free up more time for you.

Dear Hyapatia,
I love my lady very much. She’s so sweet and sexy and I would do anything for her. We have so much fun in bed and in life. Getting high with her is fun, but she talks too much. She’s fun and bubbly and just won’t shut up. It didn’t bother me for a long time. It’s starting to get on my nerves. Sometimes I just want to get high and chill. She just talks on and on and it wears me out to listen to her. I don’t want to be mean or rude, but other than sticking my dick in her mouth, how can I get her to shut up? – Carlton

Dear Carlton,
Well, that’s one way…

No doubt about it, when some people smoke, they get effusive and become motormouths. Cannabis seems to stimulate the desire to express oneself in certain stoners.

However, some people talk on and on because they feel they’re not being heard or that their feelings aren’t being validated. Relationships most often break up because of a lack of communication. Perhaps you could provide some feedback to demonstrate that you understand what she’s talking about. But if she’s just rambling on about things that don’t really pertain to your relationship or daily activities, try to get her to focus on the here and now by asking her questions about how she’s feeling? Is she hungry? Thirsty? This might get her off her tangent and focus her on what’s going on in both of your worlds. Then, ask her how she feels physically. Does she want a back rub? This can lead to more physical activity. It’s important to pay attention to what she’s saying, especially if it has something to do with what’s going on in your relationship. Be open to the possibility that she’s drawing a comparison by talking about others. Could her conversation pertain to you in any way?

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m very shy and it’s hard for me to say what I want in bed. My boyfriend is trying to be his best and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I’m not sure what to tell him to do, because I’m not really sure what I like. I’m just sure about what I don’t like. That’s another reason I’m afraid to say anything. Also, I’ve never had an orgasm with my boyfriend. – Lindsey

Dear Lindsey,
The first step is to find out what you like. Take some time by yourself and, if you feel like it, use some toys. Discover the best way to make yourself reach orgasm. Then you can better teach your boyfriend what to do. Have you tried getting good and high? The sensations of sex while high, may free up your inhibitions. It’s nice that you’re sensitive to his feelings and don’t want to hurt them. Telling him what to do, rather than what not to do, will go over better. Also, if you phrase your requests in sexually explicit language, it’s a very big turn-on for almost all guys. He’ll be very happy when he knows that he’s helped you enjoy sex to its fullest. Try to get over your shyness. If you care about your boyfriend and want to enhance your relationship, try to break through and venture into new territory. Your sexual advancement is an adventure. Enjoy it!

Dear Hyapatia,
I have a great relationship with a guy I’ve been with for almost a year. We have fun together, in and out of bed. My problem is that he uses his fingers way too much when giving head. Everything else is fine and I really enjoy sex with him, just not when he goes down on me. I’ve tried to tell him to not use his fingers so much. I’ve even told him he didn’t have to go down on me, that it wasn’t that exciting for me. I don’t know what else to do. – Aretha

Dear Aretha,
Okay guys, here’s the deal: oral sex is done with the mouth, not the fingers! If you want to penetrate a woman, do it with your dick.

Not all women enjoy oral sex to the point of climax. So there’s no reason to take that personally or as a challenge. It has more to do with psychological and physiological issues rather than anything you could do in bed.

When going down on a woman, concentrate on the clitoris and surrounding areas. Sometimes the clitoris may be too sensitive. If she squirms and tries to move away it’s not a sign that the pleasure is too much for her. It means it’s too intense and doesn’t feel good. If that’s her reaction, back off and concentrate on the surrounding areas. Women respond to oral sex in different ways – and no two women are alike. Pay attention as you use your tongue. If you’re doing it right, you’ll know. If she grabs your head and won’t let you stop, then you’ll know for sure!

from
http://hightimes.com/culture/stoner-sex-rough-schedules-motormouths-overcoming-shyness-oral-problems/