Stoner Sex: Hesitant Smokers, Shaving, Texting in Bed & Supportive Partners

Dear Hyapatia,
My lady doesn’t get high very often. In fact, I’m lucky to get her to take a few puffs once or twice a month. When she does, it’s like a whole new person. Instead of being all stressed about work and how clean the house is, she relaxes, laughs and is a lot more fun to be around. We have great sex and sometimes do things we never do when she isn’t stoned. Sex always lasts longer when she’s high. How can I convince her to smoke more often? She doesn’t have to worry about losing her job or anything, they don’t test there and don’t seem to care what people do in their off time. – Jesse 

Dear Jesse,
Perhaps you could point out how much happier she seems to be when she smokes a little weed. By making her aware of how much better her quality of life is when she’s stoned, she may decide it’s a good thing and imbibe more often. What are the reasons she holds back? Is it the money involved or does she think things will fall apart if she’s not always on her toes? My guess is that her hesitation has a practical side to it. Find out what it is and help her alleviate the problem. Assure her that you’ll help with whatever it is, and then be sure to follow through with your promise. Show her you have a true partnership and that she can relax more often and the world will not fall apart. Many people have been “brainwashed” by the tsunami of propaganda that we’ve been inundated with for years that warns that cannabis will make you lazy, unmotivated or less able to enjoy life. As we all know, it’s all lies!

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m a very sexual woman who is usually up for trying just about anything once. The boyfriend I’m with now shaves his balls. He says it makes it more sensitive and makes him look longer. I understand and agree about it making him look bigger. He wants me to try shaving. I’ve been trimming my bush for years. I have had a Brazilian, but I’ve never shaved it off completely. I think it would itch a lot when it grows back. Have you done this? What did you think? – Sheryl 

Dear Sheryl,
There was a time when my colleagues were all shaving the bottom, but leaving the top trimmed.  I adopted this practice for about a year and found it made me very sensual as it increased the sensitivity dramatically. Eventually, I got tired of it and now just keep myself trimmed. I did shave completely once, but I didn’t like the look or feel. When it grew back in, there was some itching that I found to be just a little annoying. I think everyone should do what pleases them personally. If you’ve never tried it and are curious, go for it! If you don’t like it, it will soon grow back in.

Dear Hyapatia,
I’m a single guy. I like to date a lot, and I treat my ladies right. I take them to a nice restaurant or a good movie, share some really dank weed and when we go out, we have fun. I spend money on them and treat them with respect. When we get to the point in our relationship when we’re ready for sex, I make sure I give them my undivided attention. They’re the center of my world. I want to make sure they’re enjoying themselves. The last three ladies I’ve dated thought it was okay to check their cell phones while we were having sex! I’ve heard excuses about emergency emails or that their girlfriends are going through something and might need them, but to me it’s just plain rude. Am I out of line here? – Bruce 

Dear Bruce,
You are not out of line; they are! It’s rude to answer or check your cell phone while having sex! You should be concentrating on your lover and focusing on pleasing them and enjoying yourself. This is not the time to multi-task! I’ve heard that this is becoming a more common thing, but it really needs to stop. It’s rude, even if you’ve been in a relationship for years and sex has become boring. The answer is to spice up your sex life, not to read your email or answer a text. Sex usually doesn’t last for hours, regardless of what you’re doing. Your phone can wait until you’re through. Honor yourself, your partner and your relationship enough to put them ahead of your phone.

Dear Hyapatia,
I have a really nice boyfriend who I’ve been with for a little over a year. Most of the time we get along fine. I was sexually abused by my stepfather as a teen and there are times that I can’t stop thinking about it, and I get depressed. He tries to help me and be supportive, but he runs out of patience really quick. I try hard not to think about it. I have a therapist who I see and that helps, but I would really like him to be more supportive. How can he help me? – Roberta

Dear Roberta,
Sexual abuse is a very difficult subject for lovers. Even though they may want to help with all their heart, most are not trained therapists and even these professionals don’t have all the answers. Sometimes the best thing one can do is to be supportive of the survivor while they go through their emotional rollercoaster. Survivors have a lot of anger and frustration. Supportive partners can encourage them to find productive ways of getting their anger out by helping others or physically exerting themselves. Depression is a lack of energy. When one has anger, it’s a step in the right direction, as it shows energy and promotes a release. Keeping anger inside will invite diseases like ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease, etc. Naturally, using cannabis is one of the best things one can do to help calm the emotions.

from
http://hightimes.com/culture/stoner-sex-hesitant-smokers-shaving-texting-in-bed-supportive-partners/